Meds or no meds, that is the question.

Mostly, I have always been against medication, preferring the natural route whenever possible. I hold the idea that the medication that is prescribed to us is merely band aids, not really addressing the issue, perpetuating our sicknesses so that big pharma may always have our business. Yeah, I know, where’s the aluminum foil hats, right? I’ve never been able to not question the motives of others, especially organized groups where power and/or big money is involved. Naturally, I know that the bigger an organization is, directly proportional is their aptitude in becoming corrupt.

I’ve been plagued with depression and anxiety for much of my life and I have been vigilant in understanding it from all points of view and attempting the prescribed fixes for each. I believe I’ve tried the majority of supplements there are out there, you should see the tote that I have in my closet. There have been a few of the supplements that have provided relief in my depression/anxiety and at times, I thought were the answer, quickly my tolerance would build, or there would be the sexual side effects that I’ve been avoiding like the plague. My main reason for abandoning SSRI’s was the fact that they gave me sexual side effects so I thought going a natural route would allow that to be avoided; it did not. I also avoided the SSRI’s because most caused some major memory issues that made me feel like I was losing my mind.

The first time I took the Indian spice, turmeric, I gained almost an immediate relief from my depression but was quickly discourage by the sexual side effects that it too caused. Not only did the turmeric cause sexual side effects, it seemed that the several times after trying it again I was unable to ever replicate the first desired effects it provided. Of the most recent times attempting turmeric supplementation, it actually caused increased depression and sent my addictive behavior in hyper-drive. I just don’t understand it. The next best supplements that had provided a glimmer of hope were rhodiola, combined with holy basil. The rhodiola helped with the depression and anxiety and the holy basil really helped with the social anxiety. However, these effects were hit and miss as well, the sexual side effects weren’t as bad as they were on SSRI’s and the turmeric, they were managable.

As you can gather, this is all extremely discouraging, I get really tired and even more depressed in my search for some consistent relief of my depression and anxiety. Currently, I have given the meds a chance again and am on Buspar, what I really like about it is that it has increased my sex drive, bringing back the drive I once had prior to 2015. It seemed as if January 1st my sex drive decided to take a vacation, or who knows, maybe retirement. I am only 25, and am male. The Buspar has really helped my social anxiety, strengthening the bonds at work, which in turn has given me more tools for success in advancing myself at work. The Buspar has also helped manage my OCD and ADD, there would have been no way that before I could write all this without becoming discouraged because I couldn’t hold to one topic, or focus long enough, giving it all up. I am getting better at finishing projects. The only complaint that I’ve found with Buspar is that it causes me to oversleep, oh, it’s such amazing sleep, though. I do have a tad bit of forgetfulness, but nothing major. The Buspar doesn’t, or hasn’t yet helped with the depression, hopefully it eventually will, or I will find something that will. I go back to the doctor June 9th, I’m hoping something else will give me the hope to get me through again to endure the discouragement.

Note, I haven’t just tried the medication and supplementation, I’ve tried many forms of meditation, I still practice those, I exercise, constantly tweak my diet seeing if that provides any relief, seek support from friends and family. Maybe there is something that I am or not doing that I haven’t discovered yet. Maybe there’s a calling that I’ve yet to find, regardless, I will keep searching.

I am totally open to any advice that you all may have, it would be so much appreciated.

Peace.

Thank You.

Meds or no meds, that is the question.

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